dear emily
I think I only endured my current ex for so long as some kind of unconscious poor substitution / severe penance to make up the scales in my (amnesia'd) heart about/for Emily
I miss Emily so much...
the feeling I had for her was too strong to be liking or love but. I trusted her implicitly above all else, and I separated trust at the time from craving (romantic) affection while she conflated and intertwined both as inseparable
you are responsible forever for what you have tamed. but I left her (to fend) on her own.
and she surpassed me. zhuge liang.