what defines humanity
is humanity defined "against" those who are (in)human/e or(non-)human? what does it take to make someone "no longer human"?
i'm still haunted by that one game dev who treated me like filth on the bottom of his shoe because in my heart i felt such resonance and HOPE, a rare and sightless hope, maybe because i was closing my eyes, just a glimmer of light and excitement for art in the fog...
if you want to curbstomp me so bad you don't have to be polite about it. but you think better of yourself for being polite.
i feel ashamed.
i feel deeply ashamed and this shame is probably just. it just compounds because i wish so deeply for artistic connection in anyone of my generation making art/art games that are full of deep, unspeakable emotion and that tell them through fantasy/fantastic symbolism that is Completely Insane and deeply encoded with meaning.
but i think the only people "in a society" who create these works do it to the exclusion of all "outsiders" and they do it because they create insular worlds for themselves to inhabit and they "appreciate" praise from others but there is no one that could be "like or above" them and they have NO INTEREST in the hearts and minds of others because to them, they and their world and imagination are the utmost superior and of the utmost priority.
i actually hate most traumatized people. i hate how they take on models of extreme self-worship/degrading self-pity and i just. i hate how they either replicate models of brutality and make excuses for encouraging the models of brutality that molded them into this in the first place WHICH is what and how those who hurt them justified their own conduct in the first place AND they were also hurt by such people, in an unending ouroboros.
I also hate those who think because they were traumatized, they are THE SADDEST person in the ENTIRE world and whatever happened to them is THE ABSOLUTE WORST THING THAT COULD EVER EVER happen. you CAN drown in water the depth of a rain puddle, but how dare you compare your Thinking About Drowning Yourself In A Rain Puddle to people who HAVE drowned or had their necks held down in a river or the deep ocean.
trauma has degrees. how fucking dare you compare your pot addiction to a heroin survivor. caffeine doesn't hold a candle to coke.
just.
i really hate most traumatized people who go forth and encourage themselves and their besties to do stuff like make Lesbian Torture Simulator (2025) x100 and enthuse about how many women they've written about in relationships where one of the women is driven to want to kill herself or commit self mutilation. great? NOT GREAT.
i also hate puritanical traumatized people who believe "abuser" is a discrete class of "Evil People" and they could have NEVER been violent or abusive in any way shape or form because ONLY BAD!!!!! EVIL!!!! INHUMANE SCUM!!!!! "are or become abusers" instead of abuse being just a repetitive violence like i quote juniper's "who hasn't been shitty?" like EVERYONE, I PROMMY!!! has been shitty to someone at least once in their entire lives, and godforbid, even more than once.
when you divide people into "good" and "evil" or "redeemable" and "irredeemable" or listen. "victim" and "abuser" WOAH it's almost as if it's the same discrete binary. violencers are often violenced and have no language of communication except for violence AND this flips to violenced people learn the language of violence and replicate it with a twist or a skew in either direction of "now i must be IRREPROACHABLY GOOD AND HOLY AND A FUCKING SAINT" or "if i'm evil scum anyway what's stopping me from acting like evil scum and making women torture simulators."
just.
it's almost as if...human beings are complex enough to contain multitudes. fucken, my favorite game dev's monaka racecar said this about it.
so I received a question if you could beat an evil Monaka, the answer is NO. because she is always with the dark side of herself and that is also an important part of her own. you can only listen to the voice of evil laughter over and over. there is no ending just as our lives
— Dragon Wasabi Potato ใใฉใดใณใฏใตใใใใ (@dragonwasabipotato.bsky.social) November 14, 2025 at 4:22 AM
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just. the evil monaka lives inside monaka in her innermost self. both are monaka. THIS IS MORE MORAL COMPLEXITY THAN I'VE SEEN BY LITERALLY ANY NATIVE ENGLISH SPEAKER EVER IN MY FUCKEN LIFE.
THIS IS A RACECAR GAME ABOUT THIS MAN'S CAT! IT'S GREAT! I LOVE THIS ONES!
but with all sincerity...the statement that people possess both the capacity for violence and the capacity to stop violence (mercy) is. just fken impossible to so many people. too many people. so many people it makes me fucking sick.
there is no such thing as gods or monsters. there are only human beings.