zhuge liang's axis
zhuge liang is obsessed with zhou yu who is the axis upon which every decision is determined and upon whom the world spins and takes shape. everything else may be uncertain, unclear, or abysmal, but zhou yu is for sure.
zhou yu is zhuge liang's anchor to keep him from going adrift, lost in an unwinding endless sea alone.
but zhou yu is also zhuge liang's limiter, like the reel of a kite, to keep her from soaring too high and reaching the utmost of her terrifying potential.
zhou yu's existence keeps zhuge liang from a destructive, hedonic, and nihilistic world view where nothing matters beyond the nearest satisfaction.
zhou yu on the other hand feels deeply inferior to zhuge liang and this inferiority complex is deep rooted, poisoning the ground water. so no matter how deep you dig the well, the water is poisoned by the inferiority that nothing can bleach out.
zhou yu has this concept of "second best is as good as dead last"
and is ruthless and harsh on himself for any imperfection.
he feels like stupid pond scum, an unevolved and inferior life form next to zhuge liang, and he has both an extreme desire to conquer him as well as a sadistic desire to watch her be pathetic in his hands, subordinate and submissive and begging, and he struggles with acknowledging his own desire to the point of transmuting the fear of his own extreme desires into spite and resentment and loathing and a disturbing fascination with both sabotaging zhuge liang and wanting to succeed and being afraid he will.